Monday, October 6, 2014

Perfect Responses To Instagram Douchebags Of The Day

They earned it. Link from Julie Martin.

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Phone App Of The Day: Fart Predictor

You know you're gonna fart. The question is, how noxious will it be?

From Incredible Things: "Fart Code is a free iPhone app that predicts the probability of future flatulence. Just scan a food’s bar code and the app will not only list toot-inducing ingredients, it also ranks the intensity and smell, plus delivers a replica of the farty sound your booty will emit after eating said food."

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News: Man Digs Tunnel From Bedroom To Pub

I like the way this man thinks.
Omagh’s ‘Shawshank Husband’ Dug Tunnel From Bedroom To Pub Over 15 Years

An Omagh plumber tunneled a hole from under his bed to the local pub 800 feet from his house over the course of 15 years, a court heard today.

Patsy Kerr had been summonsed to Omagh County Court after it emerged he had been the cause of a collapsed sewage pipe from a neighbouring house. Kerr told the court about his secret tunnel and the reasons behind it:

“The wife has a bad snore on her and after watching the Shawshank Redemption on RTE one night, I decided to do something about it so I waited til she was in a deep sleep and then set about digging a hole under the bed in the direction of the pub. I used all manner of tools from spoons to a heavy duty tunnel boring machine I managed to sneak down there when she was at the shops. It wasn’t until 2009 that I hit the jackpot and came up through the women’s toilet mop and bucket room.”

The tunnel was finally discovered after the DOE performed a survey on a sewage problem which turned out to be caused by a pipe Kerr had hit accidentally, causing sewage to leak into his tunnel over five years.

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