Monday, February 24, 2014

News: Parrot Rats Out DUI Driver To Cops At Alcohol Checkpoint

Then owner eats bird after getting out of jail. Not really, but I would, the little snitch. Snitches get stitches, you know. From the Daily News.
Parrot rats out driver to cops at alcohol checkpoint: 'He's drunk!'

A Mexican motorist was busted drunken driving after his pet parakeet ratted him out to police.

Guillermo Reyes, 49, was pulled over by traffic officers at a routine alcohol checkpoint in Mexico City last week.

As he got out of his blue Chevy to be tested, cops heard a voice saying: "He's drunk, he's drunk."

At first, they thought someone else was inside the vehicle. But, on closer inspection, they were stunned to see it was Reyes' beloved bird turned snitch.

(read more)

Vid Of The Day: Mario Kart Speed Skating

I laughed.

Dad Jokes Of The Day

You know, the corny, punny jokes that Dads like to tell. From Reddit.

My dad walked in the room while I was on the treadmill and said, "Where ya going?"

My dad is coming home from a business trip today and takes a picture of the clouds outside of the plane from his window seat. He sends me a text of that picture with the caption: "Hey, which one do you think has all your information?"

I told my dad about this subreddit
Me: I just found it, and it's great. Now everything you say will be my fodder.
Dad: I'm already your fodder. And over there, [pointing to my mom] that's your mudder.

My dad: How do you sell a deaf man a chicken? (Leans in close, takes a deep breath and screams:)

Helping my 13 year old make his bed. It's a hot night and the ceiling fan is on.
"Don't flick the sheet too high, Dad, or else..."
Me: "Or else what?"
"or else the sheet will hit the fan"

It was a used and fairly old car, so it was a little smelly...
Dad: So how many horse power does this car have?
Me: About 250, why?
Dad: I think one of them died.

My dad: Why did the cowboy get a Dachshund? Someone told him to get a long little doggy

Every time my dad hears a police/ambulance/fire siren, the same joke: He'll never sell any ice cream at that speed!

No, I just dyed the tips of my hair invisible.

My brother opened his Christmas present, which was a book of Edgar Allan Poe stories. My grandfather: I heard the critics are RAVEN about that one!

Dad to my sister: Someone said you look like an owl.
Sister (pissed): WHO?!
Dad laughs hysterically

Dad: What's the capital of Alaska?
Me: Juneau.
Dad: No, I don't know, that's why I asked you.

So I have a buddy that works out around the same times as my dad during the week. When this guy works out he always has a superhero under armor shirt on, usually spiderman it something similar. My dad asked what hero he is today, he replied "I'm Thor". To which my dad said "well maybe if you thretched more you wouldn't be tho Thor!"

Dad: Have you heard of the band 1020 MB?
Me: No.
Dad: That's because they haven't got a gig yet.

Korean "Anything Goes" Senior Photos Of The Day

High school in Korea lets students do whatever they want in their senior photos. Hilarity ensues. Link from Rocketnews and Sophie S.

News: Smartest Kid Ever Sells Girl Scout Cookies Outside a Medical Marijuana Clinic

Duuude! That's like... uh... brilliant and stuff. From Slate.
Smartest Kid Ever Sells Girl Scout Cookies Outside a Medical Marijuana Clinic

by Katy Waldman
Feb. 20, 2014

Danielle Lei of San Francisco is one smart kid.

According to Mashable, the 13-year-old and her mom chose a diabolically brilliant spot to vend Girl Scout cookies: outside the green-painted walls of a medical marijuana clinic.

Unsurprisingly, sales were, um, high—the resourceful Scout dispensed 117 cookie boxes in two hours, 37 more than she managed to sell outside a neighborhood Safeway grocery store the following day.

It is a rare magical moment when the invisible hand makes a shaka sign and supply wafts up to mingle with the perfumed plumes of demand. But another cool thing about this story, besides its 13-year-old heroine monetizing the munchies for a cause, is that it may have its origins in a scam that went viral: a Photoshopped image, later debunked by Gawker, of three Girl Scouts selling cookies in front of a Colorado pot shop.

(read more)


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