Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Classic Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Definitions

best of craigslist > chicago >

Craigslist w4m definitions and meanings

Date: 2009-08-29, 7:12PM CDT


"Baggage" = I can't deal with actual human beings

"Curvy" = fat

"Drama free" = I'm still bitter and involved with the last guy who got me pregnant

"Love to laugh" = I am boring as hell so hopefully you can make it entertaining

"Looking..." = spam

"Must love..." = spam

"Partner in crime" = I'm as clever and interesting as a brick

"Seeking..." = spam

"Sensual" = fat

"Something real" = spam

"Treat me..." = fat black woman with a highly undeserved sense of entitlement

No picture = fat

Picture of sunset, flower, cocktail, eyes = fat

Three or four sentence post of superficial crap with picture of cute or hot woman = spam

"Not looking for sex" = I'll blow you

Five paragraphs long post = I'm fucking insane


"see what happens" = I'm hoping for at least a fingerbang

"down to earth" = boring

"sincere" = needy

"romantic" = needy

"drama-free" = I need a vagina that won't bother me after I'm done with it

No picture = I resemble a creature from Middle-earth

Picture of anything else other than a person = I will give you an STD

"Love to eat pussy" = Don't really know which part the pee or the baby comes out of

"spoil you" = I hope you're into watersports

"let's chat" = My other hand is on my erection

"love [music, movies, tv]" = I'm a cultural retard

"experienced" = one or two date rape convictions

News: Chihuahuas Rampage In Arizona

So? Just kick the shit out of them!
Chihuahuas Rampage in Arizona

Feb 17, 2014 1:55pm

Chihuahuas are on the loose in an Arizona neighborhood and flooding animal control offices with reports of the roaming strays.

The short-legged dogs have infested Maryvale, a section of Phoenix.

Animal control are having a rough time unleashing officers to patrol the area due to the unusually high number of calls, sometimes a dozen at one time.

“If at all possible, if you see a stray, if you can safely contain him in your yard and then call us, that makes a big difference. Because people are calling saying, ‘hey I see a stray’ by the time we get there, it’s gone, it slips under the fence, and we can’t find it. ”

(read more)

Vid Of The Day: Jimmy Fallon Collects On Bets

If you bet against Jimmy hosting The Tonight Show, it's time to pay up, bitches!

WTF? Warning Signs Of The Day

Maybe it's better just to stay at home.

Moose hate Chevys

Bison hate the Honda Element

And cows

Watch out for giant tentacled attack schlong

A fate worse than being shot.

I said NO PICTURES, motherfucker!

Still my favorite


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