Monday, April 8, 2013

LOTD Classic: Velvet Paintings Of The Day

One from the early days.

 

Not Elvis. k.d. lang


Jesus and Gene Simmons with Elvis' hair. Notice which one has the angelic glow.


Jesus watching over a big rig. Or maybe it's just a big rig carrying a giant Jesus statue to Heritage USA. Or maybe it's not Jesus at all, but an Allman brother, showing us the model truck he just finished building.


Not Jesus, but close: Willie Nelson. With Elvis' shades.


Kenny on velvet. A no-brainer.


Celebrate our Native American heritage with a disembodied polar bear head with footless claws in place of a lower jaw, as worn by Garry Shandling.


One for your entryway: Monica with fertilized dress. A real conversation starter.


This was falsely billed as a Neil Diamond collage. I see two Neils, but I don't know what that is on the bottom left.


Another Kenny, this time in profile and denim. If you think his eye looks too high, you're thinking about old Kenny, not new Kenny.



Phil Spector - why? Honestly, I think someone just wanted to paint his hair.


I was going to apologize that this painting of Lionel Richie is blurred, but that's actually a good thing.


Marilyn MAN-roe... tranny version.


Chimps make horrible dealers.


Another Kenny, or Michael McDonald. Take your pick.


Hank, Jr. Whoever commissioned this probably asked for "Hank with a necklace." Instead, they got Hank, neckless.


One for the kid's room. This ought to help them get to sleep at night.


Whoa. It's the love child of Kenny Rogers and Dom DeLuise.


Twenty years ago, Don Johnson woulda kicked somebody's ass for this


It's-a crap!


Finally, the pièce de résistance: Mr. Charles Nelson Reilly
.

News: Fallen Firefighter Remembered As Idiot Who Sucked At His Job

They can't all be heroes. From The Onion.
Fallen Firefighter Remembered As Idiot Who Sucked At His Job

LENEXA, KS—Hundreds gathered for a somber memorial service Thursday in honor of Stuart D’Abarno, 31, a firefighter killed in a residential blaze whom colleagues remember as an incompetent waste of space who couldn’t fight fire for shit.

According to the Lenexa Fire Department, D’Abarno responded to a routine one-alarm house fire on Chestnut St. at approximately 1 a.m. Sunday night, suffered third-degree burns, and died of smoke inhalation after running into an inflamed second-floor bathroom in his trademark idiotic fashion, forgetting his required turnout gear and hose line, as per usual.

Sources confirmed that D’Abarno, who leaves behind a widow, Julissa, 28, and two small girls, died needlessly and moronically.


(Read more)

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