Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Creepy-Ass Lamps Of The Day

Oh hell no. These human-shaped lamps are called Embarakiya, which is Portuguese for "where serial killers hide as they wait for you to get home from work." Even worse--you have to shake the hand to turn on the light. No thank you.

From Incredible Things.

Perfect for the bathroom. Looks great on the toilet.

News: 450-Pound Man Didn't Go To Doctor For A Lecture

From The Onion.
450-Pound Man Didn't Go To Doctor For A Lecture

RED OAK, IA—After his doctor ambushed him Tuesday with suggestions that his weight was becoming a serious health problem, 450-pound local man Dale Carver, 43, reportedly told his physician that he hadn’t come to his appointment for a lecture on how to live.

“Look, professor, I didn’t come in here today for a lesson plan, so let’s maybe take it down a notch or two, okay?” said Carver, noting that he was a full-grown adult who had not signed up for a 15-minute sermon on the life-threatening risks of high blood sugar.

“With all due respect, I’m not paying you for food recommendations, so if you could just prescribe me something for my high cholesterol and diabetes, that’d be great.”

Sources confirmed that after receiving his prescriptions, Carver went outside, walked to his car, and then spent several minutes regaining enough breath to be able to drive home.

Graphs Of The Day

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