Friday, May 6, 2011

April Engrish Roundup

Feel the enjoy it now.

Come in here with dirty hands and you die.

But wash your hands and you get to live again.

Yes, actually, there is. Lots of things. Don't step in them.

The new CD from Ke$ha

You could do a lot worse.

I wonder if they did the one with the Pillsbury doughboy and Little Debbie.

It certainly is.

Party hardly. The opposite of party hardy.

But then, Peppers doesn't get many dates, so she's not picky.

You play it now! Or die.

The future is here. And it's not pretty.

It's tastier when it's pissed off.

What? It's the truth.

It caught on fire once.

Classic Mother's Day Video of the Day: Photo

This one's for all the moms of boys out there!

Thanks, Jen S.

WTF News Story Of The Day: Goat, Boy, Lingerie

From T-Nova and the NY Daily News.

Mark Thompson, 19, told police he was high on 'bath salts' when he allegedly killed a neighbor's pygmy goat.

Mark Thompson, found in women's lingerie standing over dead goat, was high on 'bath salts'

by Michael Sheridan • May 5, 2011

A West Virginia man claims he was high on "bath salts" when he allegedly stabbed a neighbor's goat to death while wearing women's underwear.

Mark Thompson was charged with cruelty to animals after being arrested at his home on Monday, authorities said.

The pygmy goat, named Bailey, had been purchased as a gift for a 4-year-old boy when it somehow wound up in 19-year-old Thompson's home, The Charleston Gazette reported.

"They told him that my goat was wandering around in Mark's house and better come and get it," Lisa Powers, grandmother of the 4-year-old, told the West Virginia newspaper. "They called my nephew because he'd been there before."

When he, along with two other women, arrived at the house, they made their way to Thompson's bedroom.

"He told them, 'Don't come in, I'm naked,'" Powers told The Gazette. "But they opened the door and he was standing there with his pants down. He had on women's clothing and the goat was dead and there was blood everywhere."

Officers found the small gray-and-white goat wearing a pink collar lying dead on the floor, blood coming from its neck, according to a police report.

A pornographic magazine photo was found lying near the animal's carcass.

Thompson told police he had been using bath salts to get high for at least three days.

Bath salts, not be confused with the kind put in bathtubs, are a widely used designer drug that is not illegal, but achieves some of the same effects as LSD and ecstasy.

Extreme Dog Grooming of the Day

They take clippers and scissors, blow paint, dyes, hair extensions, accessories, and lots of hairspray to sculpt the hair of poodles and other dogs and turn them into walking works of art. It is called Extreme Dog Grooming, and competitions are held to judge the work of the dog groomers and their canine creations.

The groomers claim the products they use are all safe for the dogs and that the dogs enjoy the attention they get when they are being groomed. All I know is, if I tried to do this to my dog Max, he'd bite my hand off, and rightly so. ~posted by Daisy

"It's not nice to fool Mother Nature!"

I told you not to eat the brown acid.

Hmm...this one gives new meaning to the term "dog hump."

Is that a beer can stuck in the dog's butt?

Just get a horse next time. It's a lot easier.

"They did this to me just so they could name me 'Spot.'"

"Here have a banana."
" thanks."

He's praying a real tiger doesn't come along and try to hump him.

"Does this make my butt look big and inflamed?"

Eats, poops, and sleeps.

I think I saw that hat at the Royal Wedding.

They could have used him in the Super Bowl.

"Painted toenails?--Surely you jest!"
("I'm serious, and don't call me Shirley.")

WARNING! Do NOT approach buffalo!


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