Monday, September 20, 2010

25 Things It's Okay To Lie About (Of The Day)

Only 25? I bet we can add to this list. From The Frisky.

By Amelia McDonnell-Parry/The Frisky

Eh, sure, lying excessively or about really important stuff isn’t cool, but fess up—we all tell a white lie or two every once and a while, sometimes because it’s genuinely better than telling the truth. Here are 25 things you really shouldn’t feel all that bad about lying about.

1. The number of sexual partners you’ve had plus or minus five

2. That you totally just washed your hands

3. That the reason for your bags is not, in fact, that you were out late partying but that you were up late reading

4. That you’re naturally toned

5. How much you paid for that (ridiculously cheap) pair of shoes

6. How much you paid for that (ridiculously expensive) bag

7. That you’re not planning on seeing
Marley & Me

8. That your favorite magazine is, duh,
The New Yorker

9. That you can tots do a headstand in yoga class

10. That you made that lasagna yourself

11. Your height and weight on your driver’s license

12. That this is your natural hair color

13. That you totally read
The Feminine Mystique and it changed your life

14. That you stayed at work a full hour after your boss left

15. That you didn’t just fart right now

16. That you don’t know all the lyrics to “I’ll Make Love To You” by Boyz II Men

17. That, of course, you floss every day, Dr. Smith!

18. That you never ever ever look at so-and-so’s Facebook page!

19. That you just love your friend’s boyfriend/husband

20. That you really adore that pink sweater and thanks so much Grandma!

21. That you always recycle

22. That you had only one glass of wine last night not five because that would be excessive

23. That your current guy is totally the best sex partner of your life

24. That you’re not the jealous type

25. That you read all sections of the paper, not just the Style and Entertainment sections

(See more at
The Frisky)

Fall TV Premieres: What To Watch, What To Skip

Like it matters what's good or not.

From The Daily Beast.

Of the 30-plus new shows heading to the broadcast networks over the course of the season, well, we’re not going to lie—it’s a bleak landscape this year. Two strong contenders—FX’s
Terriers and the CW’s espionage drama Nikita—have already premiered, kicking off an onslaught over the next few weeks. (If you haven’t already caught the series premieres for both, go do so straightaway.) But, with the notable exceptions of those and HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, it’s a pretty lackluster autumn for television, and much of the product that’s being offered seems suspiciously familiar or—in the case of the CW’s cheerleading drama Hellcats—just shrill and annoying.

WATCH: The Walking Dead (AMC)

While AMC has yet to send out any finished episodes to critics to screen, the cable network's latest original series, an adaptation of Robert Kirkman's zombie comic book, arrives just in time for Halloween. If the four-minute trailer that premiered at San Diego Comic-Con this past July is any indication, The Walking Dead will be a terrifying horror trip likely to give more than a few some nightmares. The series revolves around police officer Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln), who is in a coma when a zombie apocalypse breaks out. Emerging into consciousness, he encounters a world very different from the one he remembered as he sets out to track down his wife and son, who might already be dead… or zombies. With AMC's track record for creating addictive and intelligent entertainment, this could be the series to lure the masses to the cable channel, until now known for Mad Men and Breaking Bad. (AMC; premieres October 31)

AVOID: $#*! My Dad Says (CBS)

What is there to say that the title hasn't already? The Twitter sensation attempts to make the leap to the small screen with this painfully unfunny multi-camera sitcom starring William Shatner as the misanthropic father of the title and Jonathan Sadowski (who replaced Ryan Devlin after the project was ordered to series) as his oft-put-upon son. While CBS has yet to send out the revised pilot to journalists, it seems impossible that some recasting and minor retooling have fixed what was one of the very worst pilots of the current bunch, not to mention one of the most humorless comedies of the last few years. (CBS; premieres September 23)

(See the rest at The Daily Beast.)

Creep Of The Day: Wal-Mart Wanker

A light saber? Were there no Ewoks handy?

From The Smoking Gun.

Cleanup In Aisle Three

SEPTEMBER 15--What kind of a guy goes into WalMart, takes a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue from the magazine rack, heads to the store’s toy section, and proceeds to masturbate to completion in the aisle?

Meet William Tyler Black.

The 28-year-old Floridian, a substitute teacher, was arrested yesterday afternoon by Sarasota cops on battery and exposure of sexual organs charges, according to a probable cause affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here.

A store employee told cops that Black “ejaculated onto the floor and wiped his hand on a toy along with rubbing his foot in the suspected semen on the floor.” Employees reported that Black “discarded the magazine behind some toys and proceeded to the front of the store.”

A police source told TSG that the toy in question was a lightsaber (apparently of the Star Wars variety), and that the magazine Black used was the 2010 SI swimsuit issue with model Brooklyn Decker on its cover. Though published in February, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue can still be found on sale months later at many retailers.

When cops confronted Black, pictured in the above mug shot, he said he was in the store “shopping for a toy for his daughter.” He was hit with the battery on a child count since investigators concluded that a “reasonable person would believe that a child would come in contact with the fluid on the toy being that it was left in the toy aisle of the store.”

12 Types Of People You Meet On Twitter

My favorites: bedtime guy and people who have conversations.

From Mr. Minimac and -- in case you missed it -- The Joy Of Tech.

Product Of The Day: Squeez Bacon

Uhhh... no. I like bacon, but not when it looks like this.

From Stannon and


"Vilhelm Lillefläsk's Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon® is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon!

You can put it on sandwiches, pizza, pastas, bacon, soups, pies, eat it hot or cold (warm Squeez Bacon® on toasted rye is to die for), substitute it for bacon in your recipes, or even eat it right out of the tube like we do! If it's edible, it's better with Squeez Bacon®.

In the immortal words of Vilhelm Lillefläsk, 'Aldrig kommer att ge dig upp!' Once you get a taste of Squeez Bacon®, you'll know exactly what he meant"

Read more here, or just watch this delightful commercial:


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