Tuesday, August 17, 2010

My Word Verifications Of The Day

I started collecting my own amusing word verification captchas after this post a few weeks back. Here are a few of my favorites:

"No, Mr. Urinated, I do not have a pair of shorts you can borrow."

"Oh my God," said the Lone Ranger, after Tonto scalped the wrong guy, "You are such an Apache."

"Fine," sighed the frustrated R.A. "If you knuckleheads can't remember to flush your nasty dumps, I'll just let the Potties Administration handle it."

Rob sad. Rob jump off roof. Rob splat.

"I am Capt. Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. My mission: To baldly go where no baldy has gone before."

"Don't be actin' all chastely and shit. I know you pulled a train at the Lambda house last night."

"You give a guy 14 buenos and one malo, and what does he remember? The malo."

"Well, well, aren't we the ambitious cocoanut," said the CEO to the mail room noob after she offered to blow him for a promotion.

"I wish someone would pay me to sit around all day scratching my nuts and making hilario."

"What fuckin' bumpkin agency did you come from?" Lawrence asked the temp in sweat pants.

The Divvied And The Damned... weeksdays on CBS.

Many are, yes. You don't want them explained, trust me.

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it, tiny mango?"

A Martin Scorsese film

"Sherri work!" she said, adjusting her thong. "You go now. Scare off Sherri customer."

Just like Grandpa's wiener

"I'm not starting Renshaw," bellowed Coach. "He couldn't find the ball if it was up his ass!"

Trailer Mashup Of The Day: Dumb Inception

A nice editing job to make Dumb & Dumber play like a thriller. Link from Stephanie S. via Facebook. And folks, if you haven't friended me on FB yet, boy howdy, are you missing out. I post a lot of stuff there that never makes the blog, so click here and let's be pals.

Call For Participants

From Sarah:

It’s that time again: Envisage 365, a daily photo project blog run by and for women, is gearing up for its—can you believe it?—third year, and is opening up the roster for participants once again.

You can see for yourself how Envisage works by visiting the current year’s website here: http://envisage2009.blogspot.com/ or get more info about the details of participation by emailing Sarah, the project founder and leader, at

Like a fine wine, this project just keeps getting better over the years! Don’t miss out on what is going to be our best year yet; if you’re female-identified and interested in participating for the 2010-2011 go-round, send your inquiries to Sarah at the above email address by August 25, 2010 and prepare to start sending your photos in starting September 1, 2010. We look forward to “meeting” you!

News Story Of The Day: Duck Grope

Poor bastard. Daisy (Duck) won't put out.

From The Smoking Gun.

Woman Claims Donald Duck Groped Her, Sues Disney

AUGUST 10--While visiting Epcot Center in Florida, a Pennsylvania woman alleges that a Disney employee dressed as Donald Duck grabbed her breast and molested her after she sought an autograph.

After the alleged groping, Donald Duck made gestures--apparently with his snowy white hands—“indicating he had done something wrong,” according to a lawsuit filed last month by April Magolon. The Upper Darby woman, 27, was visiting Epcot with her children and fiancé in May 2008 when the incident reportedly occurred.

Magolon, pictured at left, is suing Disney for negligence, battery, and infliction of emotional distress, and is seeking in excess of $50,000 in damages. The entertainment giant has petitioned to have the lawsuit, which was filed in Pennsylvania’s Court of Common Pleas, transferred to federal court in Philadelphia.

According to Magolon’s complaint, she has suffered “severe physical injury, emotional anguish and distress including, but not limited to post-traumatic stress disorder” as a result of the run-in with Donald Duck. She also contends that the incident was “one of a long line of continuing, long standing, similar prior incidents” involving the groping of patrons by costumed Disney employees.

The 25 Funniest Women In Hollywood

A great list from EW.com, courtesy of Bev.


AGE: 48
SCHTICK: Straight-shooter persona belied by truly transgressive humor (see: oh-she-went-there turns in Role Models, The 40 Year-Old Virgin).


AGE: 35
CATCH HER IN: SNL, Despicable Me, Date Night
SCHTICK: Spot-on, scarily diverse impersonations (Kathie Lee Gifford, Suze Orman, Björk); perfect timing (see: Knocked Up); crucial absence of onscreen vanity.


AGE: 40
SCHTICK: Turns self-absorption into an art form; finds inappropriate moments to showcase Broadway-baby song-and-dance skills; glorious hair.


AGE: 36
CATCH HER IN: Dinner For Schmucks
SCHTICK: Sassy, smart and wise beyond her years; she's at home in either comedy or drama — Spencer's been a staple of the TV drama guest-star pool for more than a decade, appearing on CSI: NY, NYPD Blue, and Medium.


AGE: 25
CATCH HER IN: Fringe, Date Night
SCHTICK: Ditzy-smart charisma; no fear of bodily harm; willingness to get up close and personal with public toilets (see: Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist).


AGE: 45
CATCH HER IN: The New Adventures of Old Christine
SCHTICK: Turns sidekick roles into spotlight-stealers (see: Monster-in-Law, Curb Your Enthusiasm); acerbic wit; bone-dry delivery.


AGE: 26
CATCH HER IN: The Devil Wears Prada, Sunshine Cleaning, The Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon (March 2011)
SCHTICK: Turns neurotic, posh-accented haughtiness laced with a formidable caustic wit into comedy gold; hilarious deftness at tackling no-nos like eating disorders. (See: ''I'm one stomach flu away from my ideal weight!'' in The Devil Wears Prada) Also: very sexy. Exhibit A: her striptease in Charlie Wilson's War.


AGE: 49
CATCH HER IN: The West Wing, Juno, Away We Go, Lost
SCHTICK: Versatility. Janney can play any kind of funny — brainy, trashy, oddball maternal — with a combination of energetic wit, physical comedy, and legitimate emotional depth.


AGE: 31
CATCH HER IN: Dinner For Schmucks, Toy Story 3
SCHTICK: Baby-faced badass. Schaal's wide eyes and lisp-inflected delivery make her a hilarious stalker — and an unconventional (and uniquely silly) voice for pop feminism.


AGE: 20
CATCH HER IN: Marmaduke, Zombieland
SCHTICK: Stone has proved herself the perfect comedic foil for boisterous co-stars like Jonah Hill, Rainn Wilson and Anna Faris. Plus, she appeared in the 2004 Vh1 reality talent competition, In Search of the New Partridge Family. And with that on her résumé, we have to imagine she has one helluva sense of humor.


AGE: 39
CATCH HER IN: MadTV, Rita Rocks
SCHTICK: Goofy faces and killer impressions. Really, was there any MadTV cast member funnier than Sullivan, the pixie-ish comedienne who rose to notoriety with silly characters like the Vancôme Lady? We say, ''Cha, you know what? Uh-uh!''


AGE: 36
CATCH HER IN: Saturday Night Live, Grown Ups, MacGruber
SCHTICK: Uncanny ability to channel the tanorexic megalomania of Donatella Versace (''Get Ouuuuuuut!''); makes excellent comedic use of her impressive singing voice (see: her Beyoncé on SNL's ''The Prince Show''); astonishing chameleon-like power to impersonate everyone from Michelle Obama to Paris Hilton.

See the rest here at EW.com.


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