Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: I Puked In Your Purse

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I Puked in Your Purse

Date: 2009-07-16, 6:32PM EDT

You were sitting a couple tables across from me. I was checking you out. You noticed. I winked. You rolled your eyes and left your table to talk to some guys at the bar. You left your purse hanging unattended on the back of your chair. I felt rejected, and a little pissed. You looked hungry. On my way out, I filled your purse with a vomit cocktail consisting of 1 part hamburger, 3 parts Miller Lites and 6 parts hot yellow foamy puke. If you had second thoughts after blowing me off, hit me back.

I can't wait to hear from you!!!

  • Location: Houlihans

PostingID: 1273689551

Tourism Video Of The Day: Oakland

Almost as awesome as Cleveland!

From Nicolle.

One-Star Reviews Of The Day

A sampling of hilariously bad reviews of classic American film, music and literature on To each his own, they say, but come on. Some of these folks are clearly kidding -- right? I sure hope so.

From Cynical-C, where there are tons more of these, if you can stand them. Mangled language and spelling left intact from the original reviews.

I hate the Beatles. I’m so sorry that they never made anything decent because they are a 60’s band. Well, the 60’s is a really bad decade of music. Abbey Road is a really horrible album with a few of the most horrible tracks in here comes the sun. Don’t buy this awful album. go buy any joe walsh, dire straits, foreigner, guns n’ roses, green day, or nirvana insted.

There was about one hundred pages about a fish. Why would anyone care that much about a fish? If the story had a little more action and a little less about the mans’ cramped hand, it would be a tiny bit better. If you wanted to read a book about a fish, this is the book for you.

(Led Zeppelin IV)

This CD is whack. It sounds like old peoples music. Its really old too, like over 30 years old. The sound isn’t real good and the style of music on the CD is way out of style.

I’m a big movie buff, I’ve seen Citizen Cane and I love Castleblanca, but I can not see why this film has gotten so much attention! It bills itself as a historical drama, but none of the history books I’ve looked through mentioned any great war or things like Hobbits or Elves.

Talk about a long movie! They think we need another half an hour? … I recomend Pearl Harbor, it’s a much more historically acurate and the love story is more believable.


The Follin’ Craps, er, Rolling Stones, SUCKS BALLZ! All the singer does is make a fizzool out of himself. There’s a song on here called (…), and that word PERFECTIZZLY defizzines what these tizzurds ARE! A V O I D !

Morgan Freeman ruins this movie with his horrible voice over and acting. If you want to see Morgan Freeman in a good role, see “Dreamcatcher”. That is an epic film.

I didn’t need to sit through 90 minutes just to see a guy going through a crap tube barfing up his guts. Oh, give that guy an Oscar. More like Shawstank Congestion. But then he’s always barfing and swimming in poop. It gets disgusting and after a while you’re like I get it and why? for godsakes.

I just watched “A Christmas Story” and was very disturbed by it. It takes place in the 1940s (I think), but it is not at all like “Miracle on 34th Street”, which was made in the 1940s. There is a lot of violence in this film (hitting, beating, slapping) and worst of all, profanity. The boy in the movie has a fantasy of getting an air rifle and killing crooks. In this age of gun violence, this is the last thing that kids or adults need to see. I would not recommend this movie to anyone. And if this movie is about Christmas, I certainly couldn’t tell.

In my opinion, a book that is entertaining and exciting needs to stretch the mind. It needs to use great imagination. Imagination makes mystery and murder novels scary and thrilling. Imagination makes a sci-fi interesting. What is there to imagine about The Great Gatsby? There are murders, but not very unique ones. If I wanted to read a good murder mystery, I would go to Thomas Harris.

I was 21 when this came out, it was pointless then and still is. Hoffman was no actor and still is not.

I don’t understand why everyone likes this movie so much. To me, it is absolutely the worse film i have ever seen. We saw it in my film study class and i just couldn’t even stand to look at the screen after a while. it is extremely boring...

i don’t see any meaning or symbolism in this movie at all, i think it looks like something that is a very bad, first attempt at filming. i could probably do better in my backyard with a camera.

(Dark Side Of The Moon - Pink Floyd)

SNORE. I can’t believe some of you dorky stoners trapped in the ’70s have the nerve to call this album a “masterpiece” or “one of the best albums of all-time”! LOL, MUSIC NERDS! You people can’t be serious. I suggest you listen to a great album like “St.Anger” by Metallica or “Lost Highway” by Bon Jovi if you want a taste of what real music should sound like.

What? Classic? Classic,(…). THIS IS ONE OF THE WORST FILMS EVER MADE. I don’t ever want to watch it again. The last time I watched part of it was in 3rd grade. Yuck! It’s disgusting. It’s right down there with “Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace”, “Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones”, “Licence to Kill” and the Special Editions of the original “Star Wars” trilogy.

Why do people fuss over this dated pop group. Michael Jackson’s THRILLER blows every Beatles album away as true pop music genius. Only music arty farty music critics continue to ramble on about their music. For the need of something to say.


An American classic. NOT! It’s Communist propaganda about the “evils” of American free enterprise from a guy who made a lot of pinko films but never thought HE should have to live like this “common man” he kept making pictures about.

“The Godfather” has an ugly consciousness and a mean spirit. I see no justification for it, thoroughly disliked it, and have tried to forget it.

When’s an editor when you need one? This movie is so long that I played it on my TV, drove across the state, and when I came back, it was still playing. Since when is a movie this long? Movies are supposed to be 1:30-2:00 hours long. Plus this movie is as boring as a trip to the doctor’s. No good violence, no hot sex scenes, and furthermore, it stereotypes Italians. The only decent movie in this series is The Godfather III.

This has got to be the worst movie I have ever watched. Granted, some parts are funny, but this movie just goes over the edge. One of my favorite movies is Spaceballs. It knows where to draw the line; The Holy Grail does not.

If I had to sit through that much stupidity ever again in my life I would probably kill myself ten minutes into the movie.

This is the worst book I have ever read!!! I started it with an interest toward the Holocaust. Anne Frank never talked about anything even relating to this major historical event in her short life.

It was really really boring. Its about some girl and her life- who cares!?! It is a total girly-girl book. Too dull to even care. I couldnt even pay attention to what happened to her, why it was so awful. Oh Well, NEXT…

("Who's Next" - The Who)

1.) All songs sound the same
2.) Do they even have a bassist? I sure as heck can’t hear the bass.
3.) The guitarist was awful
4.) The drumming was so simple
5.) The vocals were horrid! He sounded like a dying cat
6.) The songs were generic and uncreative

If you’re going to make such an excellent documentary, why make it about about a band that nobody has ever heard of?

How can people like a movie in which every other word is the “F” word? If simple minded people get a kick out of watching a guy named the Dude smoke a “J”, I’m worried about this country. Spend your time elsewhere, because this is not a thinking man’s flick.

I don’t like how Vonnegut down-plays death. What’s the phrase? “and so it goes”? I also don’t like how the author puts down morals and values. I don’t care if Pilgrim has been through war, that doesn’t give him an excuse to loose all human pride.

The Princess Bride is twenty years old, and after twenty years it’s difficult to see why anyone likes this movie. It is not realistic and most of the things that happen in the story are lies.

Words cannot describe my intense dislike for Jimi’s guitar “skills”. This guy is a HACK. All songs sound exactly the same, the drummer is weak, does the bassist even exist? Listen to some REAL music that actually requires talent- like Nickelback!

Anyone who makes a feel good movie about the Holocaust is a total crackpot. Move over, Mel Gibson. Mr. S should stick with kiddie flicks like ET - although even there he was cruel to the actress who performed inside the ET suit.

TV Show Open Of The Day: Al Paradise

They just totally pwn3d "Solid Gold."

From eGuiders.

Movie Trailer Of The Day: Ocean's 40

From, doing their part to stop the insanity of pointless sequels.

Many thanks to TheMovieGuru for the link.

Student Exam Frustration Of The Day

Good stuff from Berit. Click any pic for a larger view.


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