Thursday, August 13, 2009

Classic 80s TV Show Open Of The Day

Suggested by a popular former blogger whose name I cannot mention except that it rhymes with Datter Of Nact Pommy.

I have no recollection whatsoever of this show. Not even sure I'd heard of it before today. After my time. But hey, it's got Jeff Conaway, who's holding up well after all these years.

Sponsor Pimpery Of The Day: Big Sale At Busted Tees

BIG sale at Busted Tees -- these shirts and more, all marked way down. Click the pic to go. All sales support LOTD. Thanks.

John Hughes Movie Quotes Of The Day

RIP, Johnny. You immortalized my adolescence.

From TestPattern. Some are from readers and may not be exact.

Feel free to add your own.

"Bueller, Bueller?"

"Demented and sad, but social."

"What about prom, Blane? WHAT ABOUT PROM?"

"That's a major appliance, that's not a name!"

"Mr. Griswold, that if you are thinking of taking the tribe cross-country, this is your automobile. The Wagon Queen Family Truckster. You think you hate it now, but wait till you drive it."

"That's right, I'm Abe Froman."
"The Sausage King of Chicago?"

"Fred, she's gotten her boobies!"

"I don't know why they call this stuff Hamburger Helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?"

"Excuse me: if whoever was in this house is still in the house, I'd like you to know that I've just called the police. I'd also like to add that I've got my father's gun and a *scorching* case of herpes."


"College is like high school with ashtrays."

"What was he wearing? Well, uh, let's see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... No, he's not retarded. "

"You're stewed, Buttwad!"

"Those aren't pillows!"

"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."

"Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam."

"I learned how to French kiss. Daddy says I'm the best!"

"Does Barry Manilow know you raided his wardrobe?"

"That's impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear."

"I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up."

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

"Mess with the bull, you get the horns."

"No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food."

"You wanna beer?"
"It's 7 o'clock in the morning."

"Anyone? Anyone?"

"I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously."

"My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."

"I am now, and will forever be, a Duckman."

"I NEED HELP! Speak any English?"

"She's got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon, huh?"

"The moose says you're closed. I say you're open."

"How about a nice greasy pork sandwich, served in a dirty ashtray? "

"They think he's a righteous dude."

"I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!"

Classic Music Video Of The Day

I was all set to make fun of their big hair and long athletic socks when I remembered I had big hair and long socks in 1980, too. But I couldn't dance like these guys.

Here's me rocking the helmet hair (so is my gf) and knee-high athletic socks, circa 1980. Such a goob. No wonder girls' parents liked me; they thought I was far too dorky to take advantage of their daughters.

10 Movie Caricatures Of The Day

The celluloid is mightier than the sword.



Character: Anna Faris´ ditzy actress Kelly
Reputedly based on: Cameron Diaz

Soft-spoken director Sofia Coppola has denied any truth to the rumors, but legend has it she was so put off by the interaction between her then-husband Spike Jonze and actress Cameron Diaz during the filming of Jonze’s Being John Malkovich that Coppola skewered them both in her movie Lost In Translation. While a self-loathing Bill Murray was busy saving his soul in the film, Coppola had Giovanni Ribisi´s vapid hipster photographer give audiences a clinic in emotional infidelity by cavorting with Anna Faris´ painfully bimbo-esque, untalented, and annoyingly bubbly blonde movie star.


Character: Orson Welles´ megalomaniacal Charles Foster Kane
Reputedly based on: William Randolph Hearst

How does writing, directing, and starring in a film considered to be one of the greatest of all time ruin your career? You make that movie one giant potshot at the most powerful man in media: muckraking publishing tycoon William Randolph Hearst. As arrogant as he was talented, 26-year-old prodigy Welles fashioned his sad, lonely, self-destructive Chuck Kane after Hearst, even allegedly naming the character´s most prized possession — the sleigh Rosebud — after the pet name Hearst had given his mistress Marion Davies' hoohah. But Hearst had the last laugh; after being virtually blacklisted in Hollywood, Welles ended his once-illustrious career drunkenly stumbling through wine commercials.


Character: Kenneth Welsh´s weasely Vice President Becker
Reputedly based on: Vice President Dick Cheney

You´d think that a block of polar ice breaking off into the ocean would make politicians realize that Manhattan would soon be ravaged by a towering tidal wave, a lethal blizzard, and, um, werewolves? Well, whatever—apparently this was all just a tsunami of liberal agenda! After climate expert Jack Hall (Dennis Quaid) informs Washington lawmakers of the impending disaster, a very Dick Cheney–like vice president coldly dismisses his warnings, proving just as environmentally committed, attuned to reason, and effective as, well, Dick Cheney. By the film´s end, Americans are forced to immigrate to Mexico. Funny, if it didn’t feel so much like a realistic option right about now.


Character: Meryl Streep´s domineering Miranda Priestly
Reputedly based on: Vogue editrix Anna Wintour

We´ve all suffered through the demanding boss who screams for more coffee but never recognizes our obvious genius. But while most of us dream of jamming a stapler into their oversized forehead, the then-twentysomething Lauren Weisberger actually got her revenge, penning The Devil Wears Prada — a 2003 novel lampooning her hellish experience assisting Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour. When it was turned into a movie, Meryl Streep made Priestly/Wintour so terrifyingly chilly that even attention-hungry fashion douches were too scared to associate themselves with the flick in fear of pissing off Vogue´s head honcho.


Characters: Mike Myers´ criminal mastermind Dr. Evil and Mark McKinney´s corporate monster Don Roritor
Reputedly based on: Saturday Night Live creator Lorne Michaels

Behind the of laughs at SNL lurks Lorne Michaels, a tiny Canadian obsessed with dominating America´s funny bone and making white people talk like black people. Obviously still reeling from His Highness´ emotional abuse, alums Mike Myers and Mark McKinney both based villains on Michaels: Watch and listen closely, and you´ll notice that both Dr. Evil and Don Roritor share similar facial expressions, vague Ontario accents, a fondness for responding to excuses with a sarcastic "Riiiiiigght," and a casual approach to underling cruelty. All done in "loving" homage to Michaels.


Character: John Goodman´s military-obsessed Walter Sobchak
Reputedly based on: Writer/director John Milius

Just because you laugh your ass off watching lumbering loudmouth Walter—the Dude´s über-intense sidekick—point his gun at bowlers, kick cripples out of their wheelchairs, bite the ears of Nihilists, and incessantly yammer about Vietnam doesn´t mean you´d want to hang out with that guy. When creating the hilarious and exhausting character, the Coen Brothers allegedly sought inspiration from gun-toting, NRA-supporting, right-winger (not to mention bearded and overweight) John Milius, the man who directed violence- and army-obsessed films like Red Dawn and Conan The Barbarian, and who wrote equally violence-obsessed films Apocalypse Now and Dirty Harry.


Character: Robert Downey Jr.´s Aussie shock journo Wayne Gale
Reputedly based on: New York Post columnist Steve Dunleavy

Isn´t it great that TV reporters like Wayne Gale—a sensationalist newsman who chronicles Mickey and Mallory´s slaughter spree—don´t exist? Oh wait, they actually do. In his portrayal of the bat-shit insane Gale, Robert Downey Jr. drew inspiration from New York Post columnist and former A Current Affair reporter Steve Dunleavy, a man who famously (and frantically) dedicated himself to the release of a convicted rapist all in the name of ratings. Where´s a crying Anderson Cooper when you need him?


Character: James LeGros´ actor Chad Palomino
Reputedly based on: Brad Pitt

With all his environmental activism, child advocacy, and African philanthropy, people sometimes seem to forget that Brad Pitt is one of the most looks-blessed actors of all time and that great looking stars are sometimes, well, a tad on the arrogant and vain side. We´re not saying he is and we´re not saying he isn´t, but James LeGros´ reportedly based his performance on Pitt, and the dude LeGros plays is certainly an insufferable prima donna. Deliberately fucking up shots in the hopes of placing himself in every scene´s foreground, LeGros´ Chad Palomino unhinges an already disastrous film-within-the-film, pissing off costars before finally admitting that he only starred in the movie to gain some career-boosting indie cred.


Character: Richard Gant´s insufferable George Washington Duke
Reputedly based on: Don King

You can´t have a boxing movie without a nod to perennial promoter and all-around scumbag Don King. And yet it took five installments until the Rocky series tipped their hats to (or at least wagged their fingers at) the frizzy-haired figurehead. Convicted for murder and sued for fraud by countless clients, King inspired the flashy George Washington Duke, a promoter that lures away Rocky´s protégé, Tommy Gunn.


Character: Saul Rubinek´s disturbingly manic movie producer Lee Donowitz
Reputedly based on: Hollywood super-producer Joel Silver

When Quentin Tarantino wrote the script for True Romance, it´s not clear if he had mega-wattage producer (The Matrix, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Predator, and so on and so on) Joel Silver in mind as the inspiration for Donowitz, but director Tony Scott certainly did. Having worked with Silver on The Last Boy Scout, Scott allegedly told Rubinek following his audition: "You got him exactly right. That´s Joel." The dig was allegedly meant to be an all-in-good-fun jab, but Scott admits that Silver didn´t talk to him for years afterward.

Busted Perp Of The Day (NSFW)

From They should give Dad another ten minutes with this guy.

Naked Bicyclist Nabbed

Cops: Father found Florida man in bed with 14-year-old daughter

JULY 23--Meet Jose Antonio Torres. The Florida man, 23, was allegedly having sex Tuesday morning with his 14-year-old girlfriend when the teen's father discovered the pair in bed.

After being punched several times by the father, a bleeding and naked Torres fled the girl's home on a red bicycle. He was soon nabbed by Altamonte Springs cops, who spotted Torres "traveling rapidly on a bicycle...the male suspect appeared to be nude," according to a police report.

As seen in the below evidence photo, Torres and his getaway vehicle were corralled on someone's front lawn.

Torres was charged with felony sexual battery charge and booked into the Seminole County jail, where he is being held in lieu of $25,000 bond.

Important Research Of The Day (video) (NSFW-ish)

Ultimo tests out their brassiere line in an unorthodox way. I don't know about you, but I'm inspired by their dedication to creating quality undergarments.


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