Saturday, July 19, 2008

Embarrassing Your Child, Part 2

After reading my post the other day about my daughter being embarrassed by me in public, Frank sent this funny clip from The Austin American-Statesman. Homey has me beat in the embarrassing-your-kid department.

I have always wanted to drive this vehicle, btw.

Want to embarrass your teen? Pick her up at school in a car that looks like a hot dog

By John Kelso

When I heard that the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile would be in town this weekend for the Wiener Dog Races in Buda, I wasn't too excited because, let's be frank, everybody knows about the car shaped like a hot dog.

The Wienermobile is old news. Both the first Wienermobile and John McCain were born in 1936. So why bother with it?

Then it came to me. Why not get some mileage out of this piece of Americana and get the Wienermobile drivers to pick up my teenage daughter, Rachel, after school at Austin High?

It would be perfect. Rachel is a vegetarian. And let's face it, there's nothing quite so much fun as a parent embarrassing a teenager by picking up the kid in a car that looks like it should be served in a bun.

Besides, the kid already thinks I'm a nutbag, so how could I lose? She either calls me Kelso or Kelsoid.

She says things to me like, "Kelsoid, I don't ever want to see you do that again." This happens when I pretend to disco dance.

So what better way to deal with a 17-year-old veghead than to pick her up in a 27-foot-long vehicle that looks like meat with tires?

Dan Olson, the Hotdogger driving the Wienermobile (Oscar Mayer calls its Wienermobile drivers Hotdoggers), pulled the Wienermobile into the Austin High driveway about a quarter after 4.

I mean, this thing is all dog. The glove box looks like a hot dog. The carpet on the floor has a squirt of yellow mustard designed into the carpet. It draws people to it. Kids immediately started walking up and making remarks.

"Gawd, I'll bet that lady is jealous in the BMW," said Enzo Priesnitz, 16, an Austin high student who was so in awe of the Wienermobile that we had a hard time getting him to leave the car after he climbed aboard and sat down. "Come back for me," he said when we finally kicked him off.

"What's your business here?" one kid asked the driver through the window.

"We're picking up a student here; isn't this how your parents usually pick you up?" asked Olson, who wears a belt buckle shaped like the Wienermobile.

"Where do you get one of these?" another kid asked. "Do you have any wieners on there?" asked another.

Then came Rachel, walking toward the Wienermobile with her high school pal Max Smith. Rachel got about 20 feet from the vehicle and stopped. She had this look on her face that said, "What kind of fresh hell is this?" Then she got out her cell phone and called her mother to ask her where she was.

"I'm on the Wienermobile," Mom said.

"(Rachel) just kept repeating, 'No, no, no,' " Max recalled.

Before Rachel got on the Wienermobile, you could see she was discussing it with Max. "I said, 'I'm sorry for the kid being picked up by the Wienermobile,' and it was me," Rachel explained. "This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Why are we doing this?"

But she laughed a lot. "You came and picked up a vegetarian in a large meat mobile," Rachel said after she climbed onto the Wienermobile. "That's the best part of the whole thing."

So what did she think of the whole experience? "Y'all are weird," she said.

So I guess I'm going to be Kelsoid for a while longer.

Speaking of 80s Music (Video)

Here's Peter Schilling on German TV. You will recognize the song, even in German. And look for an unexpected -- and weird -- appearance by an 80s movie superstar.

From TheMovieGuru, who's resting comfortably at home after penile implant surgery.



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