Sunday, July 6, 2008

EW's Movie Flunks Of The Day

A list of movies since 2000 that received a grade of F from Entertainment Weekly magazine... which is saying something, when you consider that even flicks like Encino Man, Ready To Rumble and Boogeyman got a passing grade.

I Know Who Killed Me (2007) - No one bought Lindsay Lohan as a dead stripper? Just give her a few years.

See No Evil (2006) - See no sequel.

DEBS (2005)

She Hate Me (2004) - And me hated this.

But I'm A Cheerleader (2000)

The Libertine (2005) - Even Johnny Depp can't win 'em all.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) - And so did you if you paid to see this.

All The Queen's Men (2002)

My Date With Drew (2005) - Your date with DVD.

Assisted Living (2005)

Everybody's Famous (2001) - A Belgian movie with no one famous.

Shadowboxer (2006) - Your Oscar has been revoked, Mr. Gooding.

Doogal (2003) - the critics are usually more forgiving of kids' movies, so this one must really have sucked.

Youth Without Youth (2007) - From the Francis Ford Coppola who directed Jack and Godfather III, not the one who directed Godfather and Godfather II.

Femme Fatale (2002) - another Brian de Palma turd I managed to step in. How many times will I let this man steal my money?

What The Bleep Do We Know? (2004) - You know that EW hated your movie.

The Perfect Man (2005)

Wild Tigers I Have Known (2007)

Night Watch (2005) - A vampire movie from Russia. Don't we have enough suck here already without importing it?

My Boss' Daughter (2002) - Ashton Kutcher, go back to the small screen where you belong.

The Undead (2005)

In The Cut (2003) - I guess they weren't impressed with Meg Ryan's nude scene.

Garage Days (2003)

Pinocchio (2002) - the live-action version with that annoying little Italian, Roberto Begnini.

Vulgar (2002)

Say It Isn't So (2001) - Wha? Despite the combined comic talents of Chris Klein and Heather Graham?

See Spot Run (2001) - See David Arquette suck.

The Order (2003) - Heath Ledger's follow up to Brokeback Mountain blew more than Ennis Del Mar.

Corky Romano (2001) - Hmm. Chris Kataan is usually a good bet.

Balls of Fury (2007)

The First $20 Million Is Always The Hardest (2002) - Like they'll ever know.

In The Land Of Women (2007)

Saving Silverman (2001)

Kikujiro (2000) - Huh? I thought every Japanese movie was a masterpiece.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007) - True story: I was on my way out the door with my child to see this when I thought, I better get online and see if it sucks.

Surviving Christmas (2004) - And it looked so good in the trailer.

Tideland (2006)

Manderlay (2006)

Alone In The Dark (2005) - Which describes anyone who saw this in a theater.

Adam Sandler's 8 Crazy Nights
(2002) - Never saw that one coming.

Boat Trip (2003) - Your Oscar has been revoked, Mr. Gooding! Turn it in. Now.

Where The Heart Is (2000)

From Justin To Kelly (2003) - Fish in a barrel.

BloodRayne (2006)

The Comebacks (2007) - Don't come back.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) - WTF? Not one of my favorite Coen movies, but come on.

Georgia Rule (2007) - Lindsay went 0-for-2 in '07.

House Of The Dead (2003) - Actual quote from the review: "Clint Howard, you're too good for this."

Running Free (2000)

Halloween: Resurrection (2002) - Can't they kill the thing? I don't mean Michael Myers. I mean the franchise.

Bigger Than The Sky (2005)

A Sound of Thunder (2006) - Yeah. Butt-thunder.

Vid Of The Day: Fireworks Safety

Oops, a little late. If you accidentally blew up your watermelon with M-80s, I'm sorry. I should have posted this Thursday.


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